dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
