spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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