I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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