I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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