My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
