when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Is Oprah even human
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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