god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
