i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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