Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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