My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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