The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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