You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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