She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
