NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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