Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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