Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize