Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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