Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
