worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
