Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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