i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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