question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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