My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
