whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
