Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
