I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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