He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
