just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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