someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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