um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
