that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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