I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize