You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
