I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
