spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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