I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I think we might need a safe word for this...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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