i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
