My first STD was from a foam party
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
