I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize