Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Are my feet made of real feet?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
That accounts for only three of the penises
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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