Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
