My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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