it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
