K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
