Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
