Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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