I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I CAN MOONWALK!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
