The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
