So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
