Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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