well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Come see our sink grown plant.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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