Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
COCAINE IS GR8
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
