loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
