guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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