Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
