Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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