My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
