im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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