I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
