I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
