What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
